To be honest, I have no idea how to blog. This whole idea started one night when I was trying to keep busy and avoid the thought of alcohol. Which is ironic because I'm talking about alcohol. One thing you need to know about me is I am an over thinker. I over think every possible situation especially if I believe it could alter my emotions. This can be looked at as a positive quality about me or a negative one. With my so called "blogging", I am hoping to build inner strength by talking and sharing about my personal situations.

Along with my over thinking, I tend to be sarcastic. I am not sure if this is how I cope or if it is just part of my personality. I am apologizing now if I ever offend anyone with anything I post. 

So along with being an alcoholic, I have anxiety which also makes me very susceptible to becoming depressed. About two years ago I made a decision to break off my engagement. Four days later I decided to quit drinking. I made it three months. In that course of being sober, I started talking to someone. We went on our first date, and I laughed. I laughed so hard it is a moment I will never forget because I laughed to the point of crying, and I was sober. But later that night I had my first drink. That first drink turned into I believe eight. And now I am here going through this agonizing choice once again. I say agonizing because I'm an alcoholic. Only people who have sat with the thought of quitting drinking will understand this.

Besides having a drinking problem, I obviously am still grieving about my past relationship. I am sure I will post much about that decision at a later time.  But do not worry men, I am still available and wouldn't mind a little testosterone added to the mix. 

This coming summer I will turn 30. Yay......

I have a beautiful daughter that has become a very well-rounded young woman even with everything that has happened in a short amount of time.

And last but not least I have a son. Well, a dog. I rescued him when I was sober two years ago. Thought it would help me along the difficult path of dealing with cravings and being alone for the first time in a while. And it did until his true colors started showing. This dog cries and whines more than a baby with a diaper full of shit. However, we still love him and treat him like one of us.

I am sure as you read more of my posts you will start to understand and know me a little better. I am hoping I will learn more about myself as well.

By the way, I am not sharing my name because not everyone in my family or friends group knows what I am going through. Maybe at some point I will share. But until then, just call me Candy Cane. I don't know. I like the movie Joy Ride.